Here’s the thought I shared last week (short week b/c of the holiday) and this week in my yoga classes:
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
Why is it human nature to self-sabotage? Why do we put ceilings on our aspirations, limits on our capabilities, and quotas on our happiness? I think it boils down to us not feeling like we’re worthy of insanely-genuine-limitless-skip-off-the-sun happiness. Well, let’s stop that nonsense.
From a physical fitness and health perspective, I see and hear so many people put themselves down with “I’m not fit enough to go to the gym to workout” or “I’m not a runner so I can’t go for a run” bologna. Or even put down healthy people around them with “must be nice to have that time or have that money” bull crap. YOU are worthy of happiness, fitness, and living a long healthy life. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop putting yourself down. Stop saying “tomorrow.” Do it. Get up and do it. Start being happy now. And with every little itty bitty success be happier. And happier. And happier. And when you slip up, which you will, shake it off and with the next big breath, make another tiny little success to celebrate and be happier. And happier. Then run amuck with that happiness, bask in it, bathe in it, do flippies in it! You are worthy of every little bit of happiness you will open your heart to.
Here are a few stories from this past month. A girlfriend of mine is struggling with crushing feelings of inadequacy, paralyzing fears of failure, and is slipping down the rabbit hole of why does she feel that way and further beating herself up for feeling that way. We chatted for a long time and went through a guided meditation together. The gist of was getting out of our own way, of stopping the self-sabotage. Each time a thought, anxiety, or fear crosses our mind, we can picture it as a cloud and acknowledge it without judgement, and let it blow away on the gentle breeze as simply as it had entered our mind in the first place. Those anxieties are not us. Those fears are not us. Those self-doubts are not us. They do not define us. They do not affect our incredible strength and surety inside our hearts of who we are. We cannot all fall into the trap of obsessing over fears and internalizing made up tales. We are good dang people. Fear is not who we are. Strength is who we are. Recognize what’s not us, and let if float away.
Another friend of mine was similarly beating himself up in frustration for why he couldn’t get over a past hurt faster, why he couldn’t just be wholeheartedly damage-free at the snap of the fingers. What we talked about is that we cannot let other people determine our timeline for healing. More poignant yet, we can’t beat ourselves up for not fitting an imaginary timeline that WE put on ourselves. Healing is an inside job, and begins with realizing that other people’s mistakes, our own mistakes, or misjudgments of other people’s trustworthiness, have zero impact on the strength and beauty of our human soul inside. Those things do not define us. They happen and they suck, but they cannot dim the light inside. They do not change the truest essence of what you are. See what lies inside of your heart, focus on what makes you happy, what makes you feel the freest, do what makes you feel most authentically you. Don’t limit yourself with others’ or your own expectations. Just start living your authenticity a little bit more breath by breath. Every breath is a chance to snap out of those damaging and limiting mindsets. Every breath is a chance to zoom in on your own heart and realize with patience that there is so much strength and so much love (including self-love) still in there. You are an incredible being.
For another girlfriend of mine (and for myself in my own life!), we’ve been talking about letting things slide off our back, about letting grievances go, about choosing to not fume over something that’s over and done with and unchangeable, not dropping to the low gutter level of someone without class. We can turn from an external locus of control (everybody is out to get me) and learn an internal locus of control (how I react to any given situation is what I can control and I will take the reigns of my happiness). Every breath we make a conscious decision to clench onto something or be paralyzed by something. And we need to recognize that with the same every breath, we can make a conscious decision to let something go. Today during a lunch hour corporate class I teach, we talked about how on our yoga mats we learn to let go of tightness in the body, things we’ve been clenching onto, and then how that translates into our emotional and mental health off the mat, learning to let go of tightness and rigidity with our hearts and minds. Why would we choose to clench and tighten, build our own walls and block our own paths? It’s hard, but we are bigger than that, stronger than that, and can rise up to realize we choose our happiness each breath. We are worthy of insanely-genuine-limitless-skip-off-the-sun happiness. Get out of your own way.
Take your newly opened body, newly opened heart, newly opened mind, and go live your newly opened insanely-genuine-limitless-skip-off-the-sun happy future.