Excerpts from “Daring Greatly”

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I just finished another book by Brene Brown, Daring Greatly.  Direct quotes from the book are in quotation marks below, the rest are just my best attempt at paraphrasing an idea she presented. Brene continues her work in exploring and explaining shame, vulnerability, worthiness, and wholeheartedly living.

  • “Being vulnerable means being all in”
  • “Perfect and bulletproof don’t exist”
  • “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging…Love and belonging are irreducible needs for all men, women, and children.” Simply believing you’re worthy of love, brings you love, belonging, and joy. It must be cultivated. Live a life defined by courage, compassion, and connection.
  • Share with people who have earned the right to hear our story. Share appropriately with boundaries. Relationships that can bear the weight of our burdens. We need trust to be vulnerable, and we need to be vulnerable to feel trust.
  • Shame resilience is about moving from shame to empathy, the real antidote to shame.  A social wound needs a social balm, and empathy is that balm.
  • Shame thrives on secret keeping. You have to reach out and share.
  • “We can only love others as much as we love ourselves”
  • Believing that we are enough is the way out of the armor. It gives us permission to take off the mask.
  • Foreboding joy is a defense we give to try to avoid vulnerability.
  • Because true belonging only happens when we present our true authentic selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our sense of self-acceptance.
  • “Spirituality is a deeply held belief that we are inextricably connected to one another by a force greater than ourselves, a force grounded in love and compassion. For some of us that’s God, for others it’s nature, art, or even human soulfulness. I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits.”
  • None of us is ever able to part with our survival strategies without significant support and the cultivation of replacement strategies. Putting down the… shield often requires help of a professional…daily practice as opposed to checklist attitude.
  • “Don’t try to win over the haters; you’re not the jackaas whisperer” (quote by Scott Stratton)
  • Are you the adult you want your child to be? We can’t raise our children to be more shame resilient than we are.
  • Hope isn’t an emotion. It’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process.
  • Daring greatly is not about winning or losing-it’s about courage.

And then here’s my vulnerability and exploring. Vulnerability to me means sharing what I truly want more of, sharing all of me, falling hard and giving all of my heart and passion. Vulnerability means going all in and not knowing how it will be received or if it will be reciprocated. Shame gremlins for me have to do with me thinking I am irreparable or broken or faulty for having an emotional struggle. I get so disappointed in myself if I “mess up” or don’t maintain an even-keel 24/7 happy disposition. I’m an open and authentic person. I really enjoyed these reminders by Brene about vulnerability, keeping vulnerable with our loved ones and friends because that’s where we find connection and whole-heartedness.  Really feel your vulnerability and don’t run from it. And likewise really feel your joy and don’t forebode it. You are worthy of love, giving love, receiving love, truly belonging. I am thankful for you. I hope you all have an amazing Thanksgiving!

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